By CHRIS BATEMAN

The Union Democrat

Sonora police are investigating a daring daylight double-cross that may bring a cancellation of the 51st Annual Mother Lode Roundup, until now scheduled for Mother's Day weekend.

Coyote Sam and his flyblown band of ne'er-do-wells, drifters, political hacks and charm school dropouts somehow penetrated security at Alfredo's Washington Street restaurant Thursday, barging into a luncheon thrown by the Tuolumne County Sheriff's Posse to thank merchants sponsoring the May 10 and 11 parade, rodeo and dance.

Harassment, bad manners and body odor gave way to real crime after Sam and his boys herded the crowd of Posse Redshirts and flustered shopkeepers onto Washington Street, where a throng of rubberneckers, tourist and sparechangers had gathered.

There Sam, Rotten Robbie, Terrible Herbst, Derby Dan, Two-Finger Ahmad and their seedy sidekicks demanded that Parade Marshal-elect Kenny Wivell surrender his ceremonial belt buckle. When the gutsy Wivell refused, Sam snatched the would-be marshal's favorite Stetson from his head.

"Trade it for the buckle," rasped the outlaw, throwing Wivell into a dilemma. He finally handed the engraved buckle over, but Sam at the same time pulled back the treasured Stetson and blew a hole in it with his six-shooter, tattering the hat as well as Wivell's faith in mankind.

A communal gasp rose from the crowd, which by now had swelled to several hundred people and covered the better part of a square block. Moms who just minutes earlier had let their toddlers pose with the outlaws turned ashen.

"We thought they were just local color, costumed guys the city hired to, like, promote the Spring Festival or something," said one badly shaken mother of three.

"Oh, they're real all right," Wivell stammered as Sam and his gang lit out of town for points unknown. "In fact, they have Middle Eastern connections. Believe me, al-Qaida wants the Roundup cancelled. This is the heart of America, and I think we all knew they'd hit us eventually."

Financial experts from Chinese Camp to Tuttletown agreed with the debuckled marshal: Cancellation of the Roundup, they predicted, could throw Wall Street into a panic and "bring a crash that will make Black Tuesday look like a Tuesday with Morrie, or Tuesday Weld, or Ruby Tuesday, or something."

But why would the theft of a mere belt buckle jeopardize a huge Western weekend that was months in the planning, an out-of-town reporter asked Wivell at a posse press conference that one Redshirt admitted was "pretty much aimed at blaming someone else for this whole mess."

Wivell gave the young reporter a long-suffering look, as if the rookie scribe was without some fundamental knowledge about cowhands, parades, marshals and how things operate here in the New Old West.

"If I don't have buckle, my pants fall down," Wivell said. "You think I'm going to lead a parade without my pants?"

Meanwhile, a parade of posse speakers was trying to convince the gathered media that the Redshirts had done everything they could to keep the sponsors' luncheon safe.

"We hired a private security firm, just like the police asked us to," insisted Posse spokesman Al O'Brien.

But even as O'Brien bobbed and weaved at the mic, copies of a contract were circulating through the crowd and the embarrassing truth became known: The Sheriff's Posse had retained "C. Samm & Co., Sekurity Eckspurts Esq." — a shadow firm owned and operated by Coyote Sam himself — to keep the luncheon safe.

News from the Sonora Police Department was no more encouraging.

"If we have to send our patrol officers to Baghdad, Kabul or Karachi to explore the Middle East connection, we're talking hundreds of thousands of dollars in OT and travel expenses," Chief Mace McIntosh conceded. "We'd be lucky to wrap this up in time for the 2011 Roundup.

So, yup, this year's celebration looks like one dead doggie.

Unless, unless ... some gang member maybe goes all moral on us and starts leaking clues to the whereabouts of the hidden buckle ...

Great Steak Barbecue

There are many traditions that come with the Mother Lode Roundup each year and Saturday's Great Steak Barbecue is a particularly delicious custom. The annual barbecue began in 1992, when Mel Townsend was the general chairman of the Roundup. Toni Wivell, the wife of current Rodeo Chairman Ty Wivell, came up with the now-famous name.

The Tuolumne County Sheriff's Posse expects 400 to 500 people to attend the barbecue.

New York steaks with all the trimmings will be served from 3 to 7 p.m. at the Sheriff's Posse Grounds, on Rawhide Road in Jamestown. Following dinner is live music and dancing from 7 p.m. to midnight. Tickets are $15 and $3 for children under 12. They can be purchased at the door. For more information, call 928-9318.