By SEAN JANSSEN

The Union Democrat

Relatives and friends of Michelle Pillinini — who lost her home, her possessions and her pets in last Tuesday's arson-suicide by her former boyfriend, James Arno Watt — described a relationship that had grown increasingly unhealthy over several years.

Watt's family and friends have been reluctant to speak openly about him and the days leading up to his final act. But many of Pillinini's — including her cousin Michelle Love and friend John Stone, who was also a friend of Pillinini's late husband, Harry — described Watt's behavior toward Michelle Pillinini as increasingly controlling, with him shutting her friends and family out of her life as much as possible.

"This had been deteriorating for quite a while," said Love, who has taken the legally blind woman into her Yuba City home. "We just didn't know how to go about getting her out of the house."

A recent trip to Texas for a wedding offered her an "out," Love said. Pillinini's friends and family said she had asked Watt to vacate the home before she left.

"The two weeks she spent here in Texas were a turning point, because she was able to not only realize how toxic this relationship was, but was also able to re-establish damaged relationships with her family and friends," Deb Pillinini, Pillinini's daughter-in-law, wrote in an e-mail Friday.

Some friends had decided to stop inviting Michelle to visit them because they didn't want Watt in their homes, Stone said.

"(Watt) chased everyone off," he said. "She didn't have contact with anyone because of it," Stone said.

In the days before Watt took his own life, he had left "very vile, very threatening" messages on the Love family's home phone, Love added.

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The man Watt became was not the one Pillinini's family remembers first meeting.

The pair connected about five years ago at a feed shop in Copperopolis where Watt had worked, they said.

Michelle Pillinini's husband had died of bone cancer about two years before she and Watt started dating. Love said Michelle, who had been living alone at the Copperopolis home where Harry chose to retire and live out his final years, told her she wanted companionship.

Watt and Pillinini knew each other for six to eight months before Watt moved in.

Stone said Watt made a good impression when they first met.

"He reminded us a lot of Harry," he said. "We thought maybe this could work, whatever could help (Michelle) be happy."

Love met Watt, estimating he had been with Michelle for about six months at the time, when health problems forced him into a hospital bed. She knew he was very sick and said she was not put off by Watt's raggedy appearance. Those who met him described him as tall, heavy and having a long, thick beard. Love said she was unable to get to know him at the time but felt bad for a man so ill.

Michelle Pillinini has health problems of her own. Pillinini suffers from a genetic brain stem disorder, the cause of her loss of sight and also some hearing impairment.

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Stone said he and his wife saw Michelle Pillinini less often as years passed.

A warning flag went up for them, he said, when she told Stone's wife during a March visit that she had not gotten a haircut in two years because Watt would not allow it.

Stone and Love also described shopping trips taken by Watt and Michelle where Watt would tell her to remain in the truck while he made purchases.

Health problems piled on both Watt and Michelle. Those who met Watt said he had diabetes. Stone and Love say they recognized that he was not controlling it properly with medication.

Meanwhile, about two years ago, Michelle's eyesight degenerated to the point she could no longer drive or continue to work, she added.

If she wanted to get away from Watt, her health limited her ability to do so, she said.

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Watt's family members and friends have been reluctant to speak openly about the man.

Relatives who remained close to Watt until the end also knew Michelle. Stone, Love and also Chandler Groves, who is Watt's brother-in-law, each recalled that Watt's mother would drive Michelle to a garden club in Modesto and the two had a good relationship.

Groves said he wanted to limit his comments on the tragedy out of respect to Michelle. Via telephone Friday, he read a statement he said was prepared on the family's behalf.

"Due to the recent tragedy in Copper, the Watt family is so sad and grieves at this time. Our prayers and sympathy go to the Pillinini family for their great loss," he read.

On a personal note, he added, "Myself and my wife, we think the world of Michelle. We have the utmost love and respect for Michelle."

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Love described the final days and hours leading up to Pillinini's last return to her Copperopolis home. She, Pillinini and another cousin went along for the ride.

Love said Saturday that Watt had called to say he vacated the home. However, as days passed, she learned that wasn't the case. She called Watt to say they would be returning to the house on Tuesday.

Watt called 911 at 10:30 a.m. that day to alert authorities he set fire to the home and planned to kill himself.

Witnesses said Watt killed two dogs Pillinini had bred with her late husband, as well as possibly two other dogs Watt and Pillinini acquired together. He placed their corpses in a corner of the property, away from the flames.

"These dogs were my cousin's children," Love said.

Love, Pillinini and a third cousin saw smoke from Highway 4 as they approached the house. They thought it could be a storm cloud initially, then realizing it was a fire.

When they arrived at the home, a Sheriff's car was parked in the driveway. Love recalls a deputy yelling "you need to get out of here."

They went to an area where fire equipment had assembled, where they were told they were beyond "shooting range."

Until speaking with a sheriff's investigator, Love said none of the three knew Watt had killed himself.

Her dogs and home were also lost in the incident.

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While Pillinini is now staying with the Loves, daughter-in-law Deb Pillinini wrote she has been invited to live with them in Texas.

"This tragedy does have a happy ending ... we are looking forward to taking care of her."

Pillinini is described by her loved ones as a strong woman, someone who has been through the loss of her husband, two children in their infancy, her sight and now virtually all of her worldly possessions.

"She's been through everything else and she's going to get through this," Stone said. "That's what she told me, and I agree with her."

Contact Sean Janssen at sjanssen@uniondemocrat.com or 736-8097.